Posted on February 08, 2021

On letting go, giving and the law of attraction


The secret behind the jargon of manifesting abundance

It seems every other advert on my Facebook timeline these days is someone trying to get us to buy their unique course unlocking the secrets of how to manifest abundance. Subconsciously I must have asked the universe for them, because that’s how it works, isn’t it? You ask, you get? If these adverts are to be believed, you just have to visualise it hard enough or want it enough, and if it’s not working for you yet, well, that’s because you aren’t doing it right, and need to pay them lots of money to tell you the magic formula.

Of course we’d all like to know how to attract more of what we want into our lives, but there’s something about the way it’s become such a burning desire for people to want everything, to have it all, to want more, all the time - and not only that, but to want it right now, to pay for the shortcut, the quick answer, without doing the hard work themselves that unsettles me. I am enjoying my meandering journey of exploration through life, discovering new ways of thinking, new ways of being, new ways of connecting, keeping an open and questioning mind, while remembering that this is just my reality, my perception based on where I am in my own development. So these days I try not to judge anyone, and don’t dismiss anything out of hand without feeling around it first – I am learning to listen to and trust my intuition, my gut feeling, much more. I have always had a very strong intuition, I realise, but spent so much time up in my head that I learnt (and was taught?) to ignore it, to reason things out. But nowadays I go with my gut (and my heart!) first, even if I can’t explain it.

And while my psychologist-trained brain has been reasoning with me that of course the Law of Attraction (in its human context of “like attracts like” rather than the actual physical law of opposites attract) makes sense, my gut has been telling me that there’s something not right about the way I’ve seen it being represented, or the people who talk so fervently about it, or seem to be so anxious to master it (or manipulate others with it). It’s the bit about wanting it all right now, I think. (Also the truly arrogant jargon that surrounds all this. But that’s a topic for another blog post!) About thinking it’s like an app you can just plug and play and suddenly you’re wealthier than you even dreamed possible. How did we become a society, a human race (that word is apt) that is so focused on materialistic wealth, on wanting, need, grasping, greed? The more we have the more we want, it seems. Clambering over each other to get there first, to have the most, to be the best, to win the human race. Is that abundance? Really? Rather, abundance to me is understanding that we already have everything we need, and being content, satisfied with that.

Clarity came to me this morning, ironically enough via Facebook again, on the timeline of my beautiful, gentle-hearted friend and fellow yoga teacher Helen. She shared a post that called it the Law of Giving. In summary, it said that if you want respect, you have to give respect, if you want honesty, give honesty, love, give love, and if it’s material wealth you’re seeking, then you have to help others to become successful, in order for it to come back to you. Put like this, it’s a much clearer, much purer principle. Less about ego-focused wants & desires (with you - your ego - as the central focus, visualising and manifesting out what you want for yourself) and much more about like attracting like – give out positive energy, and you will get positive energy back, which benefits everyone. I realised that it was that that has been bothering me about it all – the ego-centred attitude of it all, when I am a firm believer that it’s only when we learn to let go of our ego-driven state and realise that not everything is about us do we find freedom and peace (and therefore abundance). In other words, put out kindness, put out forgiveness, put out peace. So there we have it, not such a big mystery after all.

However – there’s always a however, isn’t there? – letting go is not always a quick or easy process. It takes time to understand ourselves, our reactions, our past, our conditioning, before we can learn to accept ourselves and learn to love ourselves. We have to be compassionate with ourselves in order to be able to be compassionate to others. As I have said before somewhere, we have to reach the point of understanding that we have enough, that we are enough as we are. And only then will we feel truly abundant. Until then we will keep wanting more, without understanding that all we are trying to do is to fill the aching hole that still remains from unresolved loss and hurt from our past. It’s only when we can let that go that we realise that letting go gives us everything we are looking for.

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